Is Friendship the Epitome of all pure relationships?

This post is written as the sixth in the series of A-to-Z challenge and a part of #1000speak. 

My series theme is "Compassion" and today's thought is based on "Friendship"

Today, I woke up to a wonderful surprise. The first scroll at Facebook, and a ping from Gauri Kekre (the Mumbai based super talented baker and blogger at Li'l White Oven and  Mind Brew).  I was a bit surprised.

The message read a bit like - 

“I became friends with you exactly a year ago. And am glad we did!!”

with extra add-ons here and there. You know what I mean.

You may not believe me if I say that we have never met. Yes, you heard it right. Never! This does surprise me as well. Thanks Gauri, for always being there. The past year was tough, and I sailed across. 

A simple post on friendship is injustice to this beautiful relationship, encompassing mutual respect, love and selfless devotion towards each other.  To go above and beyond, to bring a smile on your friend's face - Priceless!! 

Whom do you call a friend?

A friend is one with whom you share a strong emotional connect and a selfless bond. Friendships can be formed within family relationships or outside blood relationships. The child begins to feel this emotion while in her mother's womb. As the child grows, he finds a strong bond with her siblings, neighbors, classmates, college mates, many a times in colleagues, within the extended family, and so on. We stand bare within friendships. there are no inhibitions, no fear of judgements on the basis of caste, color, gender, creed, and innumerable other bias. 

Is friendship the epitome of pure relationships? 

As a mom, I want to be my son's best friend. As a wife, I want to be my husband's best friend. As a sister, I want to be her best friend. As a daughter, I want to be my dad's best friend. Why is being a friend above all relationships? It is because of the selfless devotion and mutual trust shared within the relationship. We crave for these pure emotions within all our relationships. Friendships are devoid of materialistic gains.  It overcomes all mind barriers, therefore making the emotion pure and everlasting. 

I would play opportune here, and thank my friends, for being there in my thick and thin, in my joy and sorrows. An ode to all of you. You are a part of me. 

Thank you mum and masi - for being with me always. Always! 

Thank you Chitu and Kunchu - my confidants, my best critics. 

My St Thomas' teachers - Mrs Rowen Gideon, Mrs Simmi Bhatia, Mrs Seema Narayan - pillars of strength

My school friends - Bharti Agarwal, Vandana Bhatia, Isha Kalgaonkar - selfless, non-judgemental love. 

My graduation friends - Remya Nair, Pallavi Mahajan, Suhasini Karkun, Monika Dhingra, Ruchita Nigam, Smita Agarwal - what would I do without you, back then, now, today and everyday! 

My post grad friends - Indrani Mukherjee, Gaurav Jain, Vivek Viv, Laxmi Pandey, Anubha Kartik, K V Kartik, Yogesh Bhardwaj

Friends at work - Himanshu Pandey, Sumit Bhardwaj, Chandramouli Guin, Saikat Mookherjee, Sankalp Shrei, Sushmita Sarkar (blogs at My Unfinished Life),  Shabda Satsangi, my beloved friend - Late Sampath Atmakury, Yatin Bhingarde, Salina Fall, Judith Schon, Caroline Uddstrom

Inspirations and epitome of benevolence - Sapna Gehi Gupta, Sfurti Sinha, Jaibala Rao, Poornima Kulkarni, Ruchira Shukla, Akanksha Dureja

I am grateful to all of you for being a part of my life. At some point of time, you were there with me, to share my joy and sorrow, to catch me when I fell. I can never repay for your kind deeds.  

I am sure I have missed mentioning many amigos. Apologies. 

Head to my fellow A-to-Zder, Aparna Nayak's post for the day. She pens her thoughts at Life of a woman.... This year, her theme is “Kids – God’s Special Gifts”

Egalitarian you, Egalitarian me, Egalitarian WE

This post is written as the fifth in the series of A-to-Z challenge and a part of #1000speak. 

My series theme is "Compassion" and today's thought is based on "Egalitarianism"

If only it could be true, the world would be a better place. 

Alas! 

It is still required to be discussed and debated. To be decided whether human beings have equal rights or not.  

When we talk about equality, we talk about fundamental rights. We talk about the status of each being on this earth. The world is divided over gender, color, caste, religion, age, origin, income, language, orientations and disabilities. We have different policies, legislations and systems catering to each segment of the society. Segregation of human beings on the basis of the above mentioned factors defies humanity.  

Several philosophers and social anthropologists can be quoted here, and discussed about. We can discuss Marx, Freidmen, Martin Luther King, and many such men and women. But I would like you to look into your heart, read your mind, unbiased, unadulterated, and listen to what it says. I have tried this unsuccessfully. Every time I think about it, I come out perplexed. It is not easy to identify with your thoughts in a socially unjust world. To make it a bit easier for me, I tried talking to my son who is a primary schooler. Gender bias doesn't exist for him. He doesn't identify people from their skin color. He doesn't understand religion, neither the economic stature. For him, we all are human beings, it is that simple. 

Why do women have to fight for their own rights? Why does apartheid exist? Why LGBT people yet to be accepted and bestowed with human rights? Why are disabled mocked upon? 

Questions, many more, remain unanswered. 

Head to my fellow A-to-Zder, Janaki's post for the day. She pens her thoughts at Memoirs of a Homemaker

Does being dominant make you powerful?

This post is written as the fourth in the series of A-to-Z challenge and a part of #1000speak. 

My series theme is "Compassion" and today's thought is based on "Dominance"

Dominance is an animal instinct, which is mostly used by human beings to denominate their power over other of their kin. They unleash the primitive concept of dominance and use this ability to harm others in a variety of ways ranging from visual or vocal threat, physical attack, verbal threat or verbal aggression in the forms of command, order, ridicule, threaten, accuse, blame, and criticize.

Along with being complex, human relationships are very fragile. And a slightest form of dominance within the relationship can cause immeasurable damage, not only to the relationship, but to the one who succumbs to it, as a whole. Dominance can exist within any relationship - parents and children, spouse, siblings, friends, classmates, seniors, manager, coworker, political leaders, authorities, etcetera. It is used to establish supremacy within the relationship. It is particularly common in a marital relationship, where one partner controls and commands. Dominance is also fairly common in a manager-subordinate relationship, where the manager tries to prove his authority by dominating the subordinate. 

We are heading toward a more or less cold and emotionless world. The only thriving passion is for power and supremacy. People act dominant, or imbibe this controlling behavior within themselves, to attain authority and power. 

Where does this hunger to command come from? Is it inborn or is it circumstantially acquired? 

To my understanding, such human tendencies are inborn. Certain circumstances surface the instinct of dominance or submission, and then the tendency mushrooms. A friend of mine was on the verge of separation. His wife started being verbally aggressive, and moved on to be physically abusive. When someone suggested therapy, his wife willingly agreed. It came as a surprise. The doctor suggested it implied that there is some stimuli causing this behavior. After a few weeks of therapy, it was traced back to her childhood, where her mother was abused and criticized by her father and his family. The dominant aggression was an aftermath of the past.  

But then comes another question. Does being dominant really make them feel powerful? 

I tried talking about this to a few of my colleagues. We shared thoughts about the manager-subordinate relationships. Employees termed their job suffocating when the manager inflicted dominance on the team. If one has no freedom to perform the task at hand in his own way, to have their own ideas, and work on them, but is rather being ordered which, how and when to perform the talk, the task is bound to fail, and so will the employee manager relationship. The employees will retaliate. Will the manager still feel powerful, or superior? It doesn't seem true in today’s world. 

I have observed that the submissive is either an introvert, in which case verbal aggression is enough to precipitate anger. For other cases, physical abuse or socially unacceptable ridicules, blames and threats oppress the submissive. It is common to see racial dominance, gender dominance, and dominance due to physical power or stature. 

 In my opinion, dominance makes one loose ground. Negative repercussions are bound to occur. For instance, a child, if controlled by his parents, will rebel; if his or her thoughts are suppressed, strong resistance will follow. Or, if one of the sibling tries to command the games they play, it seeds rivalry. In a marital relationship, dominance in any form - physical or mental, will lead to separation, unless the submissive partner gives in completely. The act of trying to depict oneself as superior, in any relationship, is injustice to another living being. 

In general, dominating behavior creates distance, devoid of compassion and kindness. It leads to unexpected rebellion, and harm to humanity as a whole. 

Head to my fellow A-to-Zder, Sanch's post for the day. She pens her thoughts at Living my imperfect life. Her theme for this year's challenge is "Phobias", and the entries are in the form of limericks. 

How Shall India Stop Cruelty to Animals - yes there is hope!

This post is written as the third in the series of A-to-Z challenge and a part of #1000speak. 

My series theme is "Compassion" and today's thought is based on "Cruelty to animals"

India is a multifarious land, a nation of extremely rich of incredibly poor, coexistence of extreme joy and ultimate sorrow.  

The other day, one of my colleague asked why do we have cows strolling on roads. Is it because they are considered holy? But they there are so many dogs on the streets, are they considered holy as well? What do they eat? Where do they sleep when it is very cold, or for that matter, very hot? Frankly speaking, I had no answer. Yes, cows are considered holy, “Gaumata” as we say, but that is not why they are found everywhere on the streets. It is because they have no shelter. No one gives them food, they hunt for it, end up eating non edible stuff, and in turn end up sick, and die. It is the same for dogs. They are mistreated, hit with stones, kicked away on the streets. 

Before going any further, lets watch this short documentary, “Man of God”. It is an “Incendiary Production”, shot and edited by Raj Sampad and distributed by Viral Videos India.

Love and compassion is carried in our heart, as pure as gold, rather than in the expensive branded wallets. We Indians have both in abundance - overflowing emotions and quite a number of overflowing Boss wallets. 

When I talk about pets, the Chauhan’s have the most prominent recall. I would like to feature Karuna Chauhan, a close kin, and a fellow blogger, penning her creativity at Crafting Queen. Her husband Sid, Cherry and Moose Chauhan complete her family. 

It will be injustice to just call them a dog lover. It is more of a dedication to a cause. An entrepreneur herself, merely finding time to devote to a pet, is difficult, let alone the nurturing they provide to Moose and Cherry. You can read more about Moose and Cherry at Name Place Animal thing. This fascinating and engrossing blog is maintained by daddy Sid.  

In mommy Karuna’s very modest words, 

“..if you don't love animals, you wont have them either. We need to be empathetic towards animals. these days, this emotion is missing in humans…” 

Cherry was adopted by Karuna and Sid, from a foster home. Her journey is depicted in the picture below.   

I would like to share a short real life story with my readers, quoting Josh Billings, 

“A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself.” 

My grandpa (I introduced him to you in my previous post) had a best friend in Rocky, the white Pomeranian. He breathed his last saving nanaji from a live direct current in the water cooler. The earth pin was defective. While nonage was cleaning his kennel, he just tied his leash with the water cooler stand. Someone switched on the cooler, and he started whimpering. When nanaji tried to soothe him and pull open the leash, he jumped to bite him. None of us understood what was wrong. In a matter of few seconds, he lost consciousness. At this point, nanaji jumped to his rescue, only to be hit by the current, his hand burned. It was then that he realized why Rocky did not allow him to be touched. When we reached the vet, Rocky was no more. I will regret that day forever. 

As I end my post, here is a heart warming video, to make you smile. 

Urging all readers to think about volunteering to the cause. you may like to visit PETA's website to know more. 

Head to my fellow A-to-Zder, Shubhangi Srikanth's post for the day. She pens her thoughts at The Little Princess. Her theme for this year's challenge is "LOVE". 

Picture courtesy 

Moose's FB page - You can connect with him here : https://www.facebook.com/moose.junior.37?fref=photo

How my grandpa’s belief in brotherhood nurtured humanity in me

This post is written as the second in the series of A-to-Z challenge and a part of #1000speak. 

My theme is "Compassion". 

When I was little, I often spent a lot of time with my grandfather. His name was Professor K K Tiwari. He was a professor of Political Science at the University of Delhi. An amateur palmist, gardener by hobby, an avid reader and chess and chai addict, he was bountiful. I may need several pages just to give his short bio. 

Nanaji (maternal grandfather - as we say in Hindi) had a distinct ability to strike a relationship with people around him. The base of these bonds was “brotherhood” - the belief that all people should act with warmth and equality toward one another. Because of this distinct positive quality, he was conferred the position as the convener for NSS* (National Service Scheme) for University of Delhi. Due to the same reasons, at home, he was also the president of the local community council, which was a professor's colony. Around 50 Delhi University professors, formed this part of the colony. 

I am such a proud grand daughter. 

I will cite a couple of instances here, which are engraved in my mind forever, and because of which I believe in brotherhood as well. 

Circa 1985

Our house had two unoccupied plots on either side. The plot on the right was of one Professor Mehdi. After a few years of buying the land, Prof Mehdi planned to construct a beautiful house, and  live there with his wife, three sons and a very pretty daughter, all in their early twenties. Nanaji was extremely happy to finally have a neighbor next door. Then why was a pie of the community not so eager to welcome the new family? They were the first Muslim community to move in the colony. When the members brought this up to nanaji, he was taken aback by total surprise. Nevertheless, he ignored the dissent and did not agree on the demand that Professor Mehdi will not be involved in the council. 

When the family moved in, what happened next is inexplicable in words. In no time, while sharing the common wall, we, the Tiwaris and they, the Mehdis, shared a place in our hearts. The details will fail in sheets. But it is important to mention here, that the bond is still held, now by the next generation. Nanaji’s belief in brotherhood was strong, and he stood by it through many testing times, one with the highest recall is the communal riots of 6th December 1992 (Ramjanambhoomi-Babri Masjid)**.

The other plot, the one on the left side of our house, was bought by Mr. Bhatia. He was a  Kashmiri, and relocated to Delhi during the tough times in the late 1980s.*** He,and his family - his wife, two daughters, and a son, all in their teens, had no kin in Delhi. The community helped them with a temporary place to stay while their house was being constructed. Mr. Bhatia made my grandpa set the foundation stone of his house. Their small cloth shop was inaugurated by nanaji. 

Ironically, within a few months after these incidents, Professor Mehdi was the one who would recite the final prayers on nanaji’s death - prayers to Allah, in Urdu while Mr. Bhatia supervised all the rituals. Around 100 shops in the bazaar (Arya Samaj Road) were shut down when he died. Around 500 people, of all castes and creed, were present at his cremation.   

These two relationship, amidst many more, made my belief in brotherhood, so strong that I am not able to comprehend the discrimination based on  “religion” and “caste” (and the likes) till date. 

As grandpa used to say, 

“God/bhagwan/allah/waheguru will be happy if and only if we successfully follow the religion of brotherhood and humanity.”

Head to my fellow A-to-Zder, Romi C post for the day. She pens her thoughts at Letters from the Land of Cherry Blossoms. You may learn a few Japanese words and alphabets here. 

The content on the blog post is the opinion of the author, and not intended to “malign any religion, ethnic group, club, organization, company, or individual,” 

Sources:

*http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/National_Service_Scheme

**http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Demolition_of_the_Babri_Masjid

*** http://www.bbc.co.uk/worldservice/specials/1246_land/page9.shtml